Friday, March 1, 2013

Love that I experienced that saved me from spiritual death - WMSCOG


Love that I really wanted to receive



Since childhood, I grew up often quarreling with my father because of my stubborn obstinacy and distinct supervision.

My father was too harsh on me so my heart became far apart from my father’s. By the grace of God, he received forgiveness of sins before he went to heaven.However I feel a sense of frustration in our relationship.
That is why I envy so much of the people who have lived receiving their father’s love.
One of those people is my mother.
My mother grew up receiving a lot of love from my grandfather.
Living in difficult times, having pity for his children going through hardships, he worked a lot more. When there was a time when my grandmother scolded her children severely, he rebuked grandmother and never to his children.
My mother has never received criticism from his father. I assume that she grew up receiving a lot of love from him.

I think my grandfather died when I was four or five.
When the funeral ended and the pallbearers went out with the coffin, my mother wailed and shrieked.
Being young, I couldn't understand of her actions, so I just looked at her in a distance.
My mother talks more about grandfather than grandmother.
Listening to her, every now and then I envy her because I could feel the fondness of her heart towards him.
There was a time when I said,

"Mom, you’re so lucky that you had a great father..”

In those lamentation and resentment, I received the truth.

I don’t really have much of a great memory of my father. And now I live longing for my Heavenly Father who devotedly lived for His children more than anyone else.
Realizing that my spiritual Father walked the path of sacrifice persevering death for me, my love towards Him is deepening and I even feel Mother’s sacrifice.
Though I couldn't understand the deepness of love in a person’s life, I give thanks to Elohim God, our Jerusalem Mother for allowing me to feel a bit of God’s deepest love.
I dare make a resolution that I would practice God’s love and sacrifice in the rest of my time of faith.